National Rally; July 2001
Curry Capital, Worcester on a Saturday Night
The 2001 National Rally officially started 2pm Saturday 30th June with competitors having to finish before 10am Sunday 1st July. I did the Rally in 1999 and 2000 with my old mate Alan Brown because he's the only one who will put up with my moaning at 3am in the morning. Well, I thought he was, but this year after entering he changed his mind and let me do it on my own preferring to go to the 'White Ball' instead. Can you believe it, he would rather go and get 'well-oiled' and leer at scantily dressed females rather than stay up all night on a motorcycle listening to me moaning? His loss I guess? However the amount he sponsored me for to do it shows the guilt he was feeling. Hugh Williams and Dave Sanford were also 'unexpectedly' absent after making rash promises to do the 2001 Rally after just completing the 2000 Rally. (The drink was doing the talking.) Hugh's reasons for not doing the 2001 Rally are similar to the reasons the government puts forward for not getting involved with the Euro.
The other 'old mate' who once again decided it was not going was my old 1985 BMW K100RT. I had prepared to go on it but, the Saturday before I was due to go while I was pushing it out of the garage, one of the brackets that holds the handlebars on broke through fatigue. (All you guys with old Ks, yes that includes you Nick, better check yours.) C&W had to order a replacement from abroad and that would take 7 days so the K had escaped again. Last year the gearbox went on it so it knows how to time it. Anyway, I was more than happy to go on my favourite Honda CB1000FS which for the second year in a row didn't miss a beat and returned excellent mpg.
As per usual the instructions came through a couple of weeks in advance and I set about working out my route through the matrix of controls. I have a computer program to work it out with now so it's not so bad. Anyway the route I ended up going with is shown above. The reasons why I chose this route are:
- Not all control points have food and a place to rest. In fact quite a few of them are lay-bys. So the first thing was to find a route with controls that offered decent rest facilities for my 2 x hour rest stops. It is no fun resting in a lay-by between 3am and 4am in the morning with nothing to eat or drink in the pouring rain. So the first rest stop was Melton Mowbray and the second was Worcester. Both have good facilities.
- I hadn't been up the east side of England before and this meant that quite a few of the control points were new to me.
- There wasn't too much motorway and that's good news because as you all know lots of motorway can get really boring.
- It satisfies the criteria for obtaining a special gold award which is to get through at least 6 letter control points before going 225 miles and to go through the maximum number of control points possible doing exactly 540 miles to get to the finish point, the Heritage Motor Centre just south of Warwick. 24 seemed to be the maximum number of control points.
- Last but most importantly, my computer program takes so long (~4 days) to run it didn't find any routes that started from control points nearer to home. (John Torring found one starting from Guildford just by inspection. So much for the computer program!)
The total travelling time available to complete the Rally is 18 hours, i.e. 20 hours less the two hour stops (which must be taken before each 200 miles comes up). This means that you theoretically need to average not less than 30mph to get to the finish in time, i.e. 540 miles / 18 hours, which sounds okay until you remember you have to stop and queue at every control point to get your card stamped. The other point to remember is that they are talking about 540 'designated' miles and no wrong turns. One 20 designated mile leg (Braintree to Bury St Edmunds) turned out to be 35 actual miles and I did take a few wrong turns on the Rally. You're probably doing well if you do the Rally in less than 600 actual miles and you do need to make good progress to get around. I can definitely say that many of the competitors I saw were making very good progress. I am ashamed to admit that I was overtaken travelling along a fast A road by a scooter! It was a big scooter.
I will not bore you with every leg of the route but suffice to say you're always aware of the time and the need to keep going. I remember someone shouting go at the Thurrock start and around 50 pumped-up bikers shooting out of Granada services straight for the M25. On the first leg from Thurrock to Harlow we encountered a 10 mile traffic jam on the M11 all way from the M25 to Harlow. Quite normal for Harlow market day on a Saturday we were told! However, those pumped-up bikers on their way to Harlow on the first leg of the Rally demonstrated some of the most aggressive filtering I've ever seen. I admit to getting a bit caught up in it all but I did refrain from using the Harlow cycle paths unlike some of them.
Wolverhampton was a bit challenging. The transport café seemed to be in the wrong place and it didn't have a sign with its name on that I could see. When I got there and asked if I had arrived at Hollies café, I was greeted by a guy who said in a Jasper Carrot accent "yes, otherwise know as the greasy spoon, we've moved from the café we used last year". At times when you can't find a control point you're always thinking should I go on a bit more or turn back. You can waste quite a lot of time going to-and-fro and then the panic starts to set in.
Alan and I usually take turns at leading and, this year doing it myself, I did get very tired at one point around 1am in the morning. I missed my turn-off on the M54 to Sutton Maddock by two junctions and ended going through Telford. This was a significant detour. After that I was helped at Bromsgrove by a friendly 'follow-me' taxi driver. Next I got lost in Worcester looking for the control point because of a road works and ended up dodging hordes of drunks in Worcester town centre. (I do remember that the smell of curry was strong in Worcester on a Saturday night.) When I finally made it to the Worcester control point, I found a burger stall powered by a petrol generator selling greasy burgers at 3am in the morning. A bit surreal that. Anyway, I ate one and lay down for hour on the grass looking up at the stars. One guy I met said he was going to have a nap but I didn't do the same as I didn't trust myself to wake up. I was okay after my rest but the next leg down B roads in the dark to Bewdley was a bit hairy owing to the number of lunatics (drunks) in cars barrelling towards and past me.
The rest of the Rally wasn't too bad although I did underestimate a tight right-hand bend with a sheer drop on the way to Stroud which did generate a bit of buttock clenching. I also committed the cardinal Rally sin on the penultimate leg of following a group of bikers who appeared to know where they were going only to find out later when they stopped that they didn't have a clue and were lost. Out came the map and there went some more time!
It's always good when you get to the end. There were around a 1000 bikes of all types lined up at the Heritage Motor Centre and everyone is very friendly. As it happened, I parked next to a couple who had driven an old Triumph sidecar outfit on the Rally and they were from Bournemouth and members of the Dorset Motorcycle Enthusiasts Club. Small world. As soon as they parked, a pool of oil started to form under the bike and the pilot said with some pride that it had only taken 4 gallons of oil to get around. I could believe it looking at how quickly the pool of oil was growing underneath the bike. On closer inspection, the outfit was held together with bits of wire and what looked like bits scavenged from household appliances. The belly guard, if that's what it's called, definitely looked like a piece of metal cut from one of those light drain covers. Just think of the conversation Phil Chick could have with them. Anyway, they were definitely having a good time. They had decided to go for a silver award as they were not in hurry and that's what it's all about for a lot of people who do the Rally, i.e. having a bit of fun riding around the country. The outfit certainly attracted a lot of admiration and 'nice-one' remarks from people who could barely believe it had got around. (Don't tell them I said that if anyone knows them.) A team of 6 riding those new roofed, seat-belted, air-bagged, etc. BMWs took part this year. (Something for all you BMW riders to trade-up to perhaps?) You always get the joker who will tell you after doing 24 control points that he has managed to do a route with 25 control points. Very funny that one! (I believe that John Torring did the Rally and possibly some others in the club but I didn't bump into any of them.)
I left Corfe Mullen at 10am Saturday morning to get to the Thurrock start (Essex end of Dartford tunnel) and this involved a trip of around 140 miles. I reckon that I did at least 600 miles getting around the Rally from Thurrock to Warwick leaving Thurrock at 2pm Saturday afternoon and arriving at Warwick at around 8am the following Sunday morning. After the traditional breakfast fry-up at the Heritage Motor Centre at Warwick I left for home at 9am arriving at around 11.30am and covering around 150 miles. This meant that I had covered around 900 miles in a little over 24 hours. It probably comes as no surprise to hear that I fell asleep soon after I got home. I must admit that I missed not having Alan around this year but I also have to say that I really enjoyed the Rally this year. The weather was great and I was lucky to pick a route with plenty of good roads.
I would like to express my gratitude to everyone that sponsored me. If I manage to get all the money in then Tender Loving Care will be getting a cheque for around £400 and that money will be used to help out kids not so fortunate as most.